We’ve all been there, be it as a player or a GM. Your character stands up in front of the royal court. It’s time to make a speech. The eyes of everyone at the table are on you. You freeze.

Maybe your character has done something silly and they’re now facing down an angry NPC. What do you say? You freeze.

Ten minutes until your LARP starts. You have everything ready. You think. What if people don’t have fun? What if you’re wasting everyone’s time.

It doesn’t matter how seasoned a role-player you are, nerves hit us all sooner or later, sometimes when we least expect them. I once had to leave a particularly dense sci-fi LARP before it even started because I was simply too overwhelmed by all the new info and people. I had a panic attack in a small side room, then let the GMs know I wouldn’t be playing.

I’ve seen countless players panic or stammer their way through a situation. Role-playing can be a scary experience. You’re putting yourself out there in a way that others are going to interact with and possibly judge.

Everyone get nervous. No one is going to judge you.

Try not to be worried that you’re not as eloquent as you feel your character should be. Don’t fret if you don’t make realisations that your character might have. No one is going to scoff and ask why you’re playing the character you’re playing. In general, people are going to empathise and are usually more than willing to help a fellow player out.

If you’re a GM, players are a lot less likely to notice mistakes than you think they are. They don’t know that you had intended for a particular NPC to come off as confident, or that you forgot what a particular location looked like and made it up on the spot. Even if you forget how rules or mechanics work, people are unlikely to care. They understand that you’re human too and that everyone makes mistakes.

Helping out our fellow role-players

There’s a lot of easy steps that can be taken to help others ease into what can be a daunting experience. If you’re playing in a small RPG group, be mindful of the others at the table. If someone is a little quieter or getting left out, make an effort to interact with their character and ask their opinion on things. If it’s in a LARP setting, keep an eye out for anyone who seems to be left alone or who looks nervous and uncomfortable. If your character is the intimidating sort, it could mean a lot to a new player to have you be a little kinder to them. Sure, your character may have no real reason to go over to a strange new person and make an effort to talk to them, but it really enriches other people’s experiences and isn’t that what role-playing is all about? To collaborate to have a fun time?

For GMs, be mindful of how you treat your players. Do you have NPCs mock them or shame them when they fail? Are you creating an environment in which a shyer player feels comfortable using their voice? Take some time to examine your GM style. In my experience, games like Vampire the Masquerade, while intentionally dark, can lean a little too antagonistic with players feeling downtrodden by old and angry vampires.

What can players do for GMs?

I feel like giving constructive feedback to GMs could merit its own post, but we’ll touch upon it here. Did you as a player really enjoy something your GM did? TELL THEM. Seriously. Nothing makes a GM feel more valued than a player telling them that they really enjoyed a puzzle or NPC or combat encounter. Your GM puts time into writing the games, please show them you appreciate their efforts!

If your GM flubs a bit of the game, be it plot, role-play, or mechanics, please do be patient. I promise you they’re trying their best and likely giving themselves enough self-criticism. But what if you really need to bring something up with them? Maybe they’re doing something that makes you genuinely uncomfortable, or maybe you just feel you have some advice that could help them. Do be kind. If you can, mention something you like about their game along with your criticisms. Show that you appreciate their efforts and that you want to work with them to create a better experience.

Comfort comes with time

When I started role-playing, I was remarkably self-conscious. I didn’t know what I was doing. I questioned every decision I made. I worried that people would judge me. Then I started GM-ing and that brought new worries. Were the NPCs I wrote interesting enough? Was my plot engaging? Was the ending going to flop?

I wish I could say I found some magic cure for these nerves, but the truth is, they never entirely go away. I’ve been role-playing for years now and sometimes, the niggling doubts still come back! It’s simply through exposure to these situations do I find myself becoming more self-assured. Role-playing and GM-ing are skills of their own and like any skill, you become more confident using them with time.

Have fun!

At the end of the day, gaming isn’t meant to be a test. It’s supposed to be a fun and rewarding experience. It’s a collaborative experience and if we’re mindful of that, we can make things more enjoyable, even for the most nervous of gamers.